Duo's 750 Word Report
by Lisi Naiku
Summary: AU Duo has to write a 750 word report for his teacher...but he can't think of the topic, what will he do? Will he match the 750 word requirment? (By the way, the ff.net thing says 700 word, but Word said 750, so I'm going by Word)


A/N:  This is an AU where Duo is in school.

Duo Maxwell

Duo's Seven Hundred Fifty-Word Report

            My name is Duo Maxwell, and I'm supposed to be writing a seven hundred fifty-word report on something.  Unfortunately, I can't quite remember what the teacher told me to write it about, so I'll just try to get something somehow related to the topic I was supposed to write about.  Somehow I'll manage.  I think I'll start with writing a paragraph about everything I can think about until I hit seven hundred and fifty words.

            I like to eat pears.  Pears sometimes sustain my life weeks at a time when I don't have the craving for anything else.  Pears and nice, tasty, juicy, sweet, sour, telekinetic, big, gigantic, huge, smart, green when they are not ripe, and yellow when they are.  Pears are good to me when I need to sustain my life on them for weeks at a time.

            Yellow and neon colors are evil.  They are far too bright, and they should be banned from the whole earth and all the colonies.  They do not go well with Shinigami (also known as the God of Death), and should be banned because they are blasphemous.  Black and red, on the other hand, are beautiful.  They are not blasphemous, they go well with Shinigami (also known as the God of Death), and they are not bright.  That is my talk about colors for the day.

            Scanners are evil.  They have bright lights (and we all know that bright is evil because it is blasphemous to Shinigami [also known as the God of Death]), they have lasers, they could blind anyone at any time if they are looking straight at them, they make magical copies of things, and they make little buzzy noises that should be banned.

            Dogs are cool.  They yap, make lots of noise, are stealthy when they need to be, tend to come in dark colors, have cool ears, like to wag their tails, and have cute little eyes in their heads.  As well, they eat a lot, eat without hands, and can eat dry food and wet food.

            Garbage dumps and heaps of trash can be a good source of income if you just know what to do with what you find there.  True, usually you find a lot of decaying food and other mushy things, but you can also find treasures.  Like once, I found a couch, fixed it up, and sold it for fifteen dollars.  It was a good deal to the guy (who was satisfied with having a couch mainly composed of duct tape and a few couch fragments) and I got money.  I also found a fridge that wouldn't work, so I cleaned it out, took out all the shelves and sold it as a storage box.

            Small airplanes (namely ones with ten or fewer seats) are devils and should all be destroyed.  They cause mass amounts of vomiting and stomach upsetness that disturbs the person for at least four hours afterwards.  We could then take the seats out and sell them as recliners, or just comfy seats.  We could also take out all the wires and see if we can build something without killing ourselves.

            Jewelry should be cheaper than it is now.  It's near impossible for a guy to buy his girlfriend a decent piece of jewelry and not have to sell himself to buy it.  They should make diamond and ruby rings in those little candy dispenser-thingies that are only, like, fifty cents.  That would make the man one pain free soul, and give the girl her dream.  Because like they always say…um…well, I can't remember the quote, but it was something involving girls liking jewelry.  And trust me, that's one true quote.

            It should be a standard that all caffinated drinks and foods should be half as much as all other foods.  They make a lot of people really happy, then making people around them very happy, as well.  Not to mention the fact that they taste good, and don't cause hangovers (unless you get those little chocolate candies with alcohol in it…oh sweet alcohol…).  Caffinated drinks should also become a standard thing at the school lunchroom instead of milk.  It makes people healthier in self-esteem and happiness.

            As I draw nigh on reaching seven hundred and fifty words, my paper must come to an end.  I hope that one of my paragraphs got somewhere very very near what the topic was.  If not, I'll fail this paper.  I hope that you enjoyed my paper as much as I enjoyed


End file.
